A Good Night's Sleep

We bought a new bed!  Hooray!  Most of you will not understand the significance of this purchase, but it is indeed momentous.

First, I should share that for the past 18 months (and prior to that when we slept at ‘my’ apartment), we have been sleeping on a full size bed. This may not seem like an issue to many, but one would need to understand our sizes to really appreciate our ability to share this space. My husband is 74” tall and probably 22” wide when lying down. I am 63” tall and probably 26” wide when lying down (my friends refer to them as ‘child bearing’ hips). So together, our dimensions lying down are 74” x 48”. A full size bed is 75” x 54”.

Second, the mattress we had been sleeping on was a hand-me-down that was probably about 30 years old. My obsessive nature led me to cover it with an egg crate and mattress pad as well as a double sheet, but none of that could prevent us both rolling into the middle of the bed every night and finding it almost impossible to get out of the bed every morning.

Needless to say, sleeping had not been that comfortable. We had no choice but to be in each other’s space, and David likes to cuddle and spoon – both of which I try to avoid at all costs.

One might wonder why we were in this situation for so long, and this is honestly all my fault. I am terribly indecisive when it comes to what I consider a major purchase. After research and testing, reading and trying things out, I freeze. I suppose it all aligns with my general commitment issues (and yes, I somehow made it to marriage – anything is possible).  Instead of making a choice, I simply stop.

When I purchased my apartment three and a half years ago, the oven did not work. So I checked out some ovens online, went shopping, and then learned to use my crockpot to the best of its ability. Finally, this year, my husband had enough of my barbecue chicken and we bought a new oven. And I couldn’t be happier!  It’s perfect and I can bake again. Then one day David bought us a bed frame to match our bedroom set and I knew what was coming. We drove to Sleepy’s, and an hour later we had purchased our first QUEEN size bed together. And now, we can sleep happily ever after. If I don’t give my husband enough credit, here it is – thank you for making me uncomfortable for 20-60 minutes, so I can be comfortable every night in our home.

By the way, did I mention my car died?  Let’s see how long this purchase takes…

Keeping Things Spicy!

NO, not in the way I am sure you are imagining when reading this title, sorry to disappoint (I’ll get there at some point, but for now still trying to maintain some level of privacy in my new marriage).  

Last week, my husband and I were chatting and realized that we had not been on a date since we have been married (74 days to be exact – yay, we beat Kim Kardashian!).  Prior to the ‘big day’, we had a date night every Wednesday – we would do something planned as time alone together, without our smart phones or other people, time to renew our relationship and focus on us as a couple. We would take turns planning them, so each week was something different and we always did something the other person would enjoy as well. Some weeks it would be as simple as watching Netflix together, and some weeks would be a trip to the local amusement park or dinner at the restaurant where we had our second date (which was the best one in my book).

As the wedding grew closer, unfortunately our date nights were filled with wedding planning tasks – table seating, printing out table numbers, etc. And since the wedding, date night disappeared! We came back from our honeymoon to a string of events - the passing of my grandfather, Thanksgiving, the birth of my niece, the passing of a good friend’s father, Christmas, and bringing in the New Year. It has been a very busy few months and sadly our date night has gotten lost in the mix.

In my humble opinion (and yes, I can be humble), date night is vital to the success of any romantic relationship. Too often we become comfortable with each other and forget that we are even in the same room, never mind why we decided to be together. It is easy to spend all of your time together without spending any quality time together. My husband and I spend a lot of time together – we even commute to work together – but date night is when I am reminded of how important he is to me and why I value our relationship. It reminds me of when we were just getting to know each other and how much I liked everything about him (or made excuses for that which I didn’t). Date night is such an added value to our relationship. Of course, there are no requirements for implementing – it does not need to be every week or a specific day, but it does need to be planned so you both value the time together. 

Luckily, we had planned to go away this past weekend, essentially a three day date in Nashville, TN.  David was super excited because he had never been there and loves the idea of being a cowboy, and I was super excited because of the quality time we would get to spend together. I love to travel as it feels like a renewal every time I go out of town, and doing so with David has been one of my favorite things about our relationship. Having a life partner means you always have a travel buddy! We have enjoyed many short trips in our time together (few of them long, due to budget and lack of vacation time) and each one has brought us wonderful memories and shared experiences which solidify our partnership. Nashville is a great city and we had a wonderful time. We had the best food, listened to the best live music (even though it was country, I became a fan!) and drank the best Moonshine. We had touristy fun and enjoyed the local flavors, and most importantly, we enjoyed each other’s company. It was a good mini-vacation and a nice, long date.