We are already a week in to 2012 (wow, that went fast!), so instead of writing about a New Year’s resolution that will undoubtedly vanish within six weeks, I thought it would be a great time to let you know about a resolution my husband and I made right before our wedding.
Before we got married, I became fearful of the inevitable post nuptial depression. I heard many rumors about it, friends who had gotten married before me had it, and I even had a small case of it after performing my duties as Maid of Honor for my sister’s wedding.
post nup-tial de-pres-sion [pohst nuhp-shuh l dih-presh-uh n] noun - condition of sadness and emotional dejection warranted by the loss of excitement after a super fun, big fat wedding.
Yes, there is the honeymoon and of course the joy of starting your life together, but the depression is real and I would venture to guess that most new wives have experienced it in some form. From a very young age, we are told that a wedding is the ‘biggest day of your life’. We receive instruction from family, friends and the media on dating, finding a groom, planning a wedding, saying yes to a dress, not being a ‘Bridezilla’ and everything in between. And after becoming engaged, we spend a year discussing and planning the event, and celebrating the fact that the day is coming. The build up to your wedding day is tremendous and takes up all of your time as the day nears. Then, finally, after 32 years of listening and one year of plotting, you enjoy a magical 10 hours, surrounded by everyone in the world who loves you the most. How could you not be depressed when all of that excitement comes to a sudden halt? And how could I prevent this from happening to me?
My husband suggested scrapbooking as a way to reminisce about the good times we had planning the wedding (a favorite pastime of mine as well). I thought about how happy I would be to get back to ‘regular’ life, spending time with friends and going to exercise classes. We also considered all of the pressure we had been under in the 15 months leading up to the wedding, saving our money and not doing too much of anything else. Together we came up with the best idea to avoid the post nuptial depression and resolve to be happily married – a year of fun.
year of fun [yeer uhv fuhn] noun - a period of 366 days (a leap year in this case) where David and Theresa will spend married life doing activities that provide mirth and amusement
Our Year of Fun to do list (although the point is there is nothing we must do):
Travel – as much as possible! We are booked for Nashville, San Antonio, and Italy so far, and will be taking other trips throughout the year to visit family and friends.
Spend $$ – New oven, new furniture, new clothes, new electronics, new beginnings!
Party – like rock stars, pretending we can still hang, and attempting to stay up past 1am. I may be too old for this one, but the Year of Fun is a team effort.
Holidays - celebrate when we feel like it, and how we feel like it. We decided to go ahead for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but skipped putting up a tree and spent less on stocking stuffers. Valentine’s Day is definitely off the list, but St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo are in the queue.
Discover – learn as much as possible. We are taking cooking classes and dance classes, and my efforts to learn Spanish will happen this year. We are going to explore our community more, and join teams and clubs of interest.
Family and Friends – spend as much quality time with them when we can, celebrate everyone in our lives, but also feel comfortable saying ‘no’ when we cannot. Or when we don’t feel like it.
The concept is easy – we plan on doing what we want this year. And not doing what we don’t want. And the only rule is that we do not discuss anything of a serious manner – no talk about job searches, house buying, or conceiving children, and no arguing over petty issues that arise. There won’t be many years in the future where we will have the opportunity to be as selfish as we can be today – babies will come, mortgages will grow, careers will need attention. But today, this year, we are young and free and focused on FUN!
Not a bad resolution, is it?
i think this is a spectacular idea!
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