Oh, Baby!

This past weekend was a big one. My sister and brother-in-law had their second baby on Friday (my first niece) and their son (my first nephew) celebrated his second birthday on Sunday!  David and I were lucky to be one of the first to hold my niece and my nephew, and of course this exciting time brings up the topic of having our own family.  I was hoping to avoid these 'serious' topics so early on, but it's timely.

I knew I would marry David when I saw him holding my nephew in the hospital two years ago.  We had rushed down to Maryland from New York on a Friday night, arguing along the way (I didn't think he was driving fast enough) and when I met my nephew I realized there was a part of my heart that had never been used before.  The love I felt for that tiny baby was like nothing I could have imagined.  David refused to hold him that night because he said he didn't want to bring the stress of the day upon the baby. But the next day when I saw my giant lovebug holding my precious nephew, I realized how much I loved him too. And that I definitely wanted to have a family with him.

Similar to marriage, I never really had an interest in having children. Being the youngest child, I think I may have missed the 'mom' gene. I don't particularly like taking care of others and I very much enjoy doing what I want, when I want, and how I want. I love to travel and eat out at nice restaurants. And although it doesn't happen often, I like the opportunity to sleep late. Having children is not something I take lightly because I understand that it changes your life forever. Not in a bad way, just different. And I have never really been a fan of change.

David told me that he wanted children when we first started dating. It is clear to everyone that he will be an exceptional father. He is warm, kind, loving, caring, sweet and generous. David is also one of the only male namesakes of his generation, so there is some family pressure as well. Within days of our engagement, his great aunt asked us how many children we would be having. She was not the first and definitely not the last. His best man included the question in his toast and the day I returned to work after our honeymoon my colleagues asked me if there would be a 'surprise' in nine months (really, a surprise? really?).

It seems once you hit a certain age and are in a serious relationship, the questions start. Are you going to marry him? When will you get engaged? When is the wedding? Where will you live? Are you going to have children? How many? When? Why not right away? The interesting part too is that people will answer for you if you don't respond quickly enough. You're not getting any younger. You need to make sure you're settled before doing anything. Children change everything. You should wait, enjoy being married. It's pretty funny to watch someone have a conversation with themselves about your life. Try it some time, I promise it's entertaining.

Then of course you have your own conversations and thoughts on the subject. David and I would love to have children - someday. We know how old we are, we know what we would like to accomplish before we take this huge leap, and we know that it is our decision. For now, we will continue to enjoy our nieces, nephew, friend's children, and the ability to go home and sleep after a nice long tiring weekend with them.