'Tis the Season

The holiday season is upon us, which means increased spending, compromising on time with family and lack of intimacy due to a whole lot of stress – some of the top reasons couples divorce, put into a five week period when the days are shorter and the lines are longer. AACK! Luckily, it also means remembering how much you love someone when you open that special gift, renewing your faith in each other during that New Year’s kiss and taking time to appreciate your crazy families in hopes that the one you create will be toned down just a tad.

I am pretty lucky, though. Being a newlywed means that the increased spending is allowed this year because we have limited financial obligations, and we are still excited to be intimate (wink, wink) regardless of how busy or stressed. The one challenge I have is the family sharing. David is happy to spend time with either of our families, regardless of which holiday or how much time. I am a bit selfish when it comes to this. Please refer to previous posts regarding my affinity for change.

Growing up, we all have our own holiday traditions. My family does everything on a very large scale. We always have groups of at least 15-20, with tons of food, alcohol and millions of presents. There have been Thanksgivings where a drunk grandparent sang old war songs and my Dad built a table the size of the living room to seat us all. On Christmas, my parents make us feel like we are 10 years old and spoil us rotten, even though it is long past the time that is considered appropriate. We wear matching pajamas and share funny Hallmark cards, and then spend the evening with our extended family doing the traditional Secret Santa exchange. Football is always on in the background, and karaoke usually makes an appearance. Then there is always a late night fire in the backyard, which now includes David’s obsession with marshmallows and toasting. 

A few years ago, everything changed. My sister and cousin were both expecting babies so were not able to come to Thanksgiving or Christmas. David and I had become serious so decided to split the holidays. It was (is) hard. What I was accustomed to for years and years suddenly became the past. Now don’t get me wrong – my new family is wonderful and I love spending time with them. My Suegra’s stuffing is amazing and my Suegro’s sense of humor cracks me up. But it is different. And sometimes I miss the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner.

I suppose that’s what marriage is all about – family, sharing, compromise, flexibility and of course, love. It is not always easy, it is not always comfortable, but it is ours. And this year, among the travel between families and the mounds of wrapping paper, I am most grateful for the best gift I have ever received – my husband.